Poetry of Pride

Last night, LOML's spoken word grabbed every queer in the Newark Public Library garden by the damn throat to remind us how powerful our existence is, how our resilience relies on our resistance.

Cindy Goncalves's poems, centering on the queer, cisfemale/masculine-presenting Luso-American experience, testify to the challenges women like her face on a daily basis: the fierce but brutal, complexity of our relationships, the pure contempt homophones harbor towards our existence, the joy community offers, a world that tells people like her that they don't belong or are safe in any space.

Guys, when I tell you this woman’s genius and heart are too much for just one blog post, I am not just an exaggerating women in love. But I am a super proud partner who is celebrating this poet for fearlessly telling our truths-queer/Portuguese/woman-so poetically, brilliantly and bravely.

Below, check out one of Cindy Goncalves' performances from last night, as well as one of her best poems.

Conversas Com Avó

“Sabes filha,” she’d say, “antigamente

we only had two pairs of shoes:

one for work

and one for church

and even though our work shoes had more

holes than sole,

our church shoes could walk our souls

straight to the holy ghost.

We weren’t educated, mas

a nossa fé was all the certainty we needed.”

And it was that simple

as long as rosary beads wrapped around

her fingertips every night.

Só Deus é que sabe, filha.

Only god knows.

But avó,

Does your god know the things that keep

people like me up at night?

Does he know why clocks can have hands but not

middle fingers?

Does he know that

of the twelve children you baptized,

not one stayed with you long enough to hear

your brittle bones sing operas?

Does he know that sometimes you wish

you meant as much to him

as he means to you?

Does he know I hear him

every time my lover speaks,

that he sounds like a woman

and his voice turns me on?

Actually,

Does your god have a preferred gender pronoun

or have we all really accepted

that he created the clit?

Also, does your god really “hate fags?”

And does he hashtag BlackLivesMatter

or AllLivesMatter?

Has he told you why he seems to be completely over

the one nation under him,

completely divisible,

with liberty and justice

for some?

Do my stretch marks make him jealous,

does he make lightening so powerful

because of them?

Does he know that I cringe

at the thought of prayer,

that I only served as an altar kid

so I could sit next to the prettiest girl in CCD?

Doesn’t he feel bad when people thank him

for things they did themselves?

I graduated with honors while he

was off giving 4 year-olds leukemia.

And don’t tell me it was part of his plan

because even the devil isn’t that cruel.

Your god thinks

I can’t be my own god

and my god knows

he’s wrong.

Cindy, you are the epitome of Pride and I’m over-honored to celebrate this hard but beautiful life with you. #newarkpride #whenbaeisbrilliant #LOMLgotwordsyall #spokenword #lusoamericanliterature #immigrantsmakeamericagreat #portugeseamericanqueerness